Princess bumped me. MSC bumped me. P&O said “fine — but it’s Iona.”
So I did the only sensible thing a man with zero options does: I boarded a last-minute 48-hour emergency cruise and went to find out what actually happens on a tiny “taster”, expecting 90% booze and 10% cruise.
This isn’t a usual full-fat Cruisetube review — it’s a blow-by-blow of a hastily booked two-nighter: embarkation chaos, queue drama, buffet politics, bizarre entertainment, dining shenanigans, prom-deck laps, gym time, and a few genuinely weird moments that only happen at sea. I also walk the ship, chat to crew, and try very hard not to lose my mind.
No spoilers here — watch for the laughs, the gripes, and the bits you’d only see on a rushed, nowhere-going little cruise. If you’ve ever been bumped, rebooked, or ended up on a trip you didn’t want — this one’s for you.
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Ever been bumped last minute? What happened to you?
Here, ladies and gentlemen… WE GO!
00:00 - Intro
02:30 - LADS LADS LADS
03:00 - The guests in the queue
04:13 - The bully at embarkation
05:20 - Walk With Me Tim
05:53 - Cabin Tour...
06:30 - Check in with a shoppee
07:48 - Embarkation buffet
08:47 - Iona Refit
09:25 - Decks 6,7,8 Atrium
10:24 - Pearl MDR
11:22 - 'The Show' - Sons Of Pitches
12:13 - The worst singer ever?
12:37 - Brodies Karaoke
13:15 - Prom laps and confrontation at late night snacks
14:41 - The ghost
15:30 - Gym
16:05 - Breakfast in Aqua
16:53 - Ocean Studios
17:13 - Decks 17,18, 19
17:50 - Skydome and Taste 360
18:19 - Limelight Club art lecture
19:08 - The Olive Grove lunch
19:55 - Formal Night & Chefs Table
21:30 - 'The Show' - Festival
22:17 - Wandering the ship
22:40 - Breakfast at The Quays
23:30 - Ships, ducks and swingers
23:48 - The costs
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