If Cruise Lines Were Women I’ve Dated - Cunard, Virgin Voyages, P&O, MSC & More
August 8, 2025
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There’s a ship for everyone — just like there’s someone for everyone.
The trick is finding the right one before you get seasick, heartbroken, or stuck at sea with someone who thinks 'unique' means just like everyone else.
In this 100% honest (and slightly too personal) video, I reveal what would happen if cruise lines were women I’ve dated — or nearly dated… or got tangled up with in a deeply confusing international perfume-counter incident.
From Keira, I mean Kara (MSC) — that sparkle ain't a diamond — to Woman X (Titanic), this is a tour through cruise lines and my own life, and let’s just say not all of it went to plan.
🛳️ Featuring:
00:00 - Intro
00:16 - MSC Cruises – Meet Kiera (Chaos, Cocktails & Selfies)
01:27 - Cunard – Victoria (Elegance You Can’t Afford)
02:27 - Royal Caribbean – Molly (Fun Until You Need Depth)
02:55 - Disney Cruise Line – Linzi Classic (Sugar & Sunshine)
03:54 - P&O Cruises – Emma (Deserves Better)
04:34 - Celebrity Cruises – Krystle (Beautiful but...)
05:28 - Virgin Voyages – New Linzi (Tattoos & Turkey Teeth)
06:24 - Princess Cruises – Caroline (Your Forever Cruise Wife (Not Mine))
07:15 - Carnival Cruise Line – Tania (Regret in Tequila Form)
07:59 - Holland America – Jacqueline (Cool, Cold & Classy)
08:54 - Titanic – Mystery Celebrity (Because… Why Not?)
Why am I sharing all this?
Because cruising is like dating — it’s better when you know what you’re getting into.
And because YouTube is cheaper than therapy.
💬 Which cruise line is YOUR ex?
Let me know in the comments… unless it’s Disney, in which case stay of Insta.
👍 Like. Subscribe. Tap the bell. And remember — heroes book the solo cabin.
#CruiseTube #MSC #Cunard #RoyalCaribbean #CelebrityCruises #CarnivalCruise #VirginVoyages #PrincessCruises #Pando #HollandAmerica #Titanic #DatingDisasters #cruisereview
To preserve peoples anonymity some AI is used, but every word is 100% real and true!