As far back as I can remember…
I always wanted to be a cruiser.
Ambassador’s prices are so low they raise questions.
Perfectly reasonable questions.
Totally innocent questions.
Questions you probably shouldn’t ask out loud.
In this video, I board Ambassador Ambition and very quickly realise that something… isn’t quite right.
The food is Italian. The branding is suspicious.
People keep making offers.
Things keep splashing into the sea after midnight.
Coincidence?
Maybe.
What follows is a tongue-firmly-in-cheek deep dive into one of the strangest, funniest and most allegedly suspicious cruises I’ve ever taken — told through the lens of classic gangster cinema, bargain-basement cruise deals, and a growing sense that I should probably keep my head down.
This is satire.
It is fiction.
And I would absolutely not repeat any of this in court.
If you’re thinking about booking Ambassador…
If you like your cruise reviews honest, cinematic and slightly unhinged…
Sit down.
Have a coffee.
And remember:
Accept no favours.
Ask no questions.
And whatever you do…
Don’t refuse the offer.
🎩⚓️